Life...? Don't joke with me..

This is getting really ridiculous..
How i wish everything's not true.. The final decision is next week..
What will everyone think if the reason behind it is such a stupid thing..
Im afraid... Really.. This is not something i can fix anymore...
I dont know what to do.. I never do get the things i wanted and instead im destroying it...
It's always like that... That's why i never asked for anything...
Reaching out to something seems so impossible now...
Maybe its true after all, u'll never get ur dreams to come true if u speak it out loud...
Or maybe it only does apply to me..
Please dont do this.. This is not happening.. I dont want it this way!!!!
There should be other ways out of it.. please dont do this...